Time flies when you're ...busy?

I have definitely been neglecting this blog for awhile. There is no doubt about that.
Honestly, I don't really know what I've been doing for the past few months. Junior year has been a blur. All I've done is drown in all of the work I've been given. The first month or so was difficult. For about the first month of Junior year I cried at least once every night, sometimes more. Mostly because I was overwhelmed. As time passed, I was sort of able to numb myself so thay I didn't let all of it get to me so badly.
I guess that's where I'm at now.
Numb.
But I'm okay, you know? Of course I have my good days and my bad days, but things just don't bother me as much as they used to. I've sort of learned to just deal with things on a day-by-day basis. And so far, that's been working for me.
I don't know what else to say, honestly. I'm typing this on my phone, so it's somewhat strenuous on my thumbs. Oh well.
I'm going to try to start updating this more often, but I can't make any promises just yet. But I do want to start documenting my life again. I miss doing that.
-Morgan

sdfgh.

I feel like I've abandoned my blog. I haven't, just incase you were wondering. I really just don't have much to write about at the moment. I've been working a lot, which hasn't been too fun. I also had surgery on my toe, which wasn't fun either. The only actual EXCITING thing that I have to write about is...
I'M GOING TO MEXICOOOO. :3
My family and I, along with some of my parents' friends and kids, are going to some resort in Cabo. San Jose del Cabo, to be specific. But we'll be spending a lot of time in Cabo San Lucas, too. I leave on the 6th to drive to Charlotte, and fly out really early on the 7th. I'll get back into Charlotte LATE on the 14th, and won't get back to Wilmington until mid-day on the 15th. I'll post pictures when I get back. :D
-Morgan.

Remind me why I love you?

So, I've started working on a surprise for Dre. It's kind of classic, but whatever. I'm going to write him a list of reasons why I love him. Whether it be the classic "101 Reasons Why I Love You", or 365 reasons why I love him (1 for each day of the year!), I haven't really decided. OR I could just go all out and give him one reason why I love him for every day we've been together. Which, as of June 29, 2010, it would be ...893 days? So says some relationship counter. Anyways, I figured I'd start posting the list so that you guys could give me some feedback. Seriously, if something is worded really dumb, or it's just stupid altogether, just tell me. I'd rather know now than after the fact. Anyways, here it is.

These Are The Reasons Why I Love You, Dre Harper:
1. You're not like anyone else I've ever met.
2. You complete me.
3. You're goofy.
4. You have a heart of gold.
5. You always know how to make me smile. :)
6. You're honest.
7. You're understanding.
8. You're never scared to try new things.
9. You've always got my back, no matter what. <3
10. I love the way your eyes light up when you see me.
11. Oh, and I love your gorgeous blue eyes too. :)
12. I love the way you miss me, even though I just left.
13. I love the fact that you ALWAYS call me to tell me goodnight and that you love me, no matter what.
14. I love all of our inside jokes. (HOTTTT!)
15. I love the way you love to be close to me.
16. I love that you always put up with my crazy family to see me.
17. I love that I can call you at ungodly hours in the morning ...and you're okay with that.
18. I love the way you STILL give me butterflies, even after all this time.
19. I love how you sing cute songs to me. :)
20. I love the way you make me feel beautiful all the time, even on the days when I don't think I am.
21. I love the unique little scar on your nose. :)
22. I love the way you go out of your way just to make/see me smile.
23. I love the amount of self-confidence you have.
24. I love the way that you're genuinely friendly to everyone you meet, even if they're strangers.
25. I love how you can always tell what I'm thinking, or how I feel.
26. I love how you always see the brighter side of bad situations.
27. I love how I can never stay mad at you (and vice versa).
28. I love how you're a big dreamer. :)
29. I love how you believe in me, even when I don't believe in myself.
30. I love the way you encourage me to break out of my shell.
31. I love the way you always stay up "5 more minutes" all the time just to talk to me.
32. I love the way you know how to listen just right. :)
33. I love how NOTHING can compare to the way YOU make me feel. :)
34. I love the way your smile can, and always does, brighten up a room.
35. I love how you're still a kid at heart. <3
36. I love the way I can be myself around you.
37. I love the way you love me unconditionally, even WITH all of my flaws.
38. I love how we can talk about everything (or nothing!) for hours on end and never get bored.
39. I love how I can tell you ANYTHING with absolute confidence that you won't judge me for it.
40. I love how when I'm with you, nothing else in the world matters.
41. I love the way you always grin really big when you see me.
42. Also, I just love your smile. A lot. :)
43. I love your crazy sense of humor.
44. I love how you always know how to make me laugh 'til I cry.
45. I love the way you bring out the best in me.
46. I love the way you hold me tight in your arms. <3
47. I love the way you always make me feel safe and protected.
48. I love that you're my absolute best friend in the whole wide world. :)
49. I love that you can see me at my worst but still love me and tell me that I'm beautiful.
50. I love the way your hand feels in mine. (It fits perfect!)
51. I love the way you tease me for being short, even though you love the fact that I'm short.
52. I love how you let me lay on your chest just to listen to your heart beat.
53. I love the way you keep all of my secrets safe.
54. I love your voice ...and how hearing it always makes me feel comforted and at ease, AND all warm and fuzzy inside (cheesy, I know). :)
55. I love how you help me with things even when I don't ask you to.
56. I love all of your manly scars. :)
57. I love how we do crazy things together, then joke about how one day they will become stories for our grandkids.
58. I love that you were willing to give the shy, nerdy girl a shot 2 1/2 years ago.
59. I love the way you've opened up your heart to me. <3
60. I love the way you're always extremely patient with me.
61. I love the way you've won my parents' hearts over.
62. I love the way you keep me sane.
63. I love the way you make me fall in love with you more and more every day.
64. I love how you always make time to see me, even if you don't have time.
65. I love how you were totally worth the wait. :)
66. I love the way you go overboard on holidays just to make them extra special.
67. You're trustworthy.
68. I love the way I miss you, even when I've seen you 2 minutes before.
69. I love the way we think the same. :)
70. I love the way you understand the world, and life itself, so well.
71. I love the way we argue over small things, just like a really old married couple. :)
72. I love the way you insist on holding my hand everytime you drive me somewhere.
73. I love how you get things for me when I'm too short to reach them.
74. I love how you drive all the way to my work just to give me a hug and kiss and remind me that you love me. :)
75. I love the way you insist that my toes are cute, even though I hate them.
76. You're irresistable.
77. You're reliable.
78. "You're my favorite." :)
79. I love that you've stuck by my side through thick and thin.
80. I love how reassuring you are when something goes wrong.
81. I love that you're always on my mind, and you know it.
82. I love how you let me play with your hair and mess it all up, even if we're about to go out somewhere.
83. I love that I can't picture myself without you.
84. I love the way you sneak up on me and wrap your arms around me from behind.
85. I love the way you want to smother me with kisses, even if I'm wearing chapstick. xD
86. I love how I can say things like "Guess what?!", and even though you know what I'm going to tell you, you play along anyways.
87. I love how cute you are when you fall asleep holding me. :)
88. I love the way you CONSTANTLY play the mixed CD's I made for you in your car.
89. I love the way you keep all of the letters and drawings I gave you right next to your bed, so that you always know where to find them.
90. I love the way you hang pictures of me on your mirror, and smile when you show me them.
91. I love the way you always smell so good. :)
92. I love how you always talk about our future together, and how much fun it will be. :)
93. I love that you never give up on me, no matter what the situation is.
94. I love that you occasionally let me "borrow" your clothes, just so I can have a little piece of you to cuddle with at night.
95. I love the way you pretend to be mad at me, just to make me pout and tell me how cute I am when I pout.
96. I love that you always try your best to keep our relationship as healthy as possible.
97. I love the way you watch the same movies with me over and over again, just because they're my favorite. (Adam Sandler movies!)
98. I love the way you notice the little things in life, even if nobody else does.
99. I love you because you're YOU, and that's all I'll ever really need.
100. I love that this list was so easy to write, because I love you with all of my heart and no list, no matter how long, could ever begin to cover how much, and why, I love you.


I love you, D.

I need change.

I don't like this. I don't like this at all.
I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling. In fact, I don't know what I'm feeling at all -- and I hate that. I hate not knowing what I'm feeling or why I'm feeling that way.
I really want to go on vacation. I want to sit in the car/on a plane for an extensive amount of time, look out the windows, and just relax. I don't want to be in Wilmington anymore. I'm tired of it. I want to go somewhere else and start over. I really don't know why I want that, though. I have a great life here. I just. I want something new. I want to start over fresh and forget the things that have happened here in this stupid town. I want out.
But at the same time, I'm scared of what will happen. If I go to a new town, all by myself... Honestly? More than likely, I'll get a place and hibernate. I'll want to be alone and stay alone. I won't want to deal with people or life. And that sounds horrible, I know. But honestly? Sometimes I just want to be left the fuck alone. And if I'm on my own in a new town where I don't know anyone, I CAN be left the fuck alone. But at the same time, I don't need to be left alone for a long period of time. The cycle starts and I go insane. Not INSANE, but I start getting into a routine that I can't break. Then I start feeling lonely and depressed, ect, ect. You know how it goes.
I'm scared of change, though. As much as I want change, I am ABSOLUTELY terrified of it. I'm scared something will go wrong and I won't be able to reverse it. That alone is mostly what keeps me from trying to make change.
And I need change. Badly.

June 24, 2010.

I haven't written in my blog in forever. I don't know why. I've just had nothing to say.
I'm on the phone with Joshua right now. I like talking to Joshua. He brings me back to reality.
Summer is flying by me. I really don't know what I've done with my summer besides work. That's really all I've done. But at least I'm saving money. My parents have started to look for me a car, which is good.
Wow. My summer has been so dull I really have nothing to say. D:
textmesomeone?
-moe.

One.

"À ce moment précis, il y a 6 470 818 671 personnes dans le monde. Six milliards de personnes, six milliards d’âmes, et parfois, il ne vous en faut qu’une seule... "

At this precise moment, there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Six billion people, six billion souls, and sometimes, you only need one.

And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC04ZZploBE
^^ So, I've decided that whenever I get married, and to whomever I get married to, I would enjoy if this could be our 'first dance' song.
I enjoy Eric Clapton a lot. ):
Dre sang this song to me earlier today. And though Dre is no Eric Clapton, it was still incredibly adorable. Which is why I want it to be the first song my husband and I dance to whenever we get married. And no, I am not implying that it WILL be Dre, for those of you cringing or whatever right now. So don't worry, you don't have to punch me in the face just yet. I'm simply saying that WHOMEVER it may be, I will dance to this song with them.
Kthanks.

I'm sure I'll look back on this in 20 years and laugh.
Hell, I'll probably look back on it next week and laugh.
Which is exactly why I'm posting this.

Lalala.

I feel wonderful because I see the love light in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all is that you just don't realize how much I love you.